Thursday, 12 February 2009

Some little jokes to cheer us up....

Hospital regulations require a wheel chair for patients being discharged. However, while working as a student nurse, I found one elderly gentleman already dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his feet, who insisted he! Didn't need my help to leave the hospital.

After a chat about rules being rules, he reluctantly let me wheel him to the elevator.

On the way down I asked him if his wife was meeting him.

'I don't know,' he said. 'She's still upstairs in the bathroom changing out of her hospital gown.'


Couple in their nineties are both having problems remembering things. During a check-up, the doctor tells them that they're physically okay, but they might want to start writing things down to help them remember

Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair. 'Want anything while I'm in the kitchen?' he asks.
'Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?'


'Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?' she asks.

'No, I can remember it.'

'Well, I'd like some strawberries on top, too. Maybe you should write it down, so as not to forget it?'

He says, 'I can remember that. You want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries.'

'I'd also like whipped cream. I'm certain you'll forget that, write it down?' she asks.

Irritated, he says, 'I don't need to write it down, I can remember it! Ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream - I got it, for goodness sake!'

Then he toddles into the kitchen. After about 20 minutes,

The old man returns from the kitchen and hands his wife a plate of bacon and eggs. She stares at the plate for a moment.

'Where's my toast ?'

AND the grand finale:

A little old widower, in his late 80's, finds love again with a widow of the same age.

One day he and his new sweetheart are sitting in the park. They are enjoying the scenery, the birds etc. Suddenly they see a young couple making out and getting pretty steamy!!

"You know what Edna...we can do that. Age is just a number, you know."

So the little old widower and his little old girlfriend make their way back to her place. Soon enough, things are really heating up and getting about as steamy as the young couple in the park.

Suddenly Edna starts becoming short of breath and clutches her now unclothed chest.

"Slow down Walter slow down, I have acute Angina you know" she gasps.

"Well Edna you better because your tits sure ain't nothing to look at!".